The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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