Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize