I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My pussy is not your playground.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
