Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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