i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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