this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
