this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
