she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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