Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
