something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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