She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
