Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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