my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
