Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
