Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
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