How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
