Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
