Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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