What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
