THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
