She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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