6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
