i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
