I puked a lego.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How does one acquire holy water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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