i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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