I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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