somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
