Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
