its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
