just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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