pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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