I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ugly people sure do ruin things
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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