Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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