The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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