A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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