U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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