Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
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Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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