I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
