Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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