What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
