Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
