I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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