happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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