Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
