Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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