My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
