do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
