I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
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He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
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he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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