Your dad touched me again.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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