oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
