I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize