Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
