Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
