I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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