I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
