so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
