I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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