YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
